What Matters

Mother’s Day is this weekend. Whether you are mom, have a mom, or just know someone that’s a mom, the following musings may help encourage you, or help you to encourage a mom you know. Please pass this along to all the moms you know and love, to remind them that mothering matters!

What is it that we mothers actually DO? The question provokes, sometimes infuriates. DO? What do we do? Some of us, whose children are small and grimy: We wipe. Faces. Countertops, tables, floors. The opposite ends from faces. Dishes, walls, bathrooms.

Others of us juggle: job, schedule, kids’ needs, carpools. We juggle a tantrum-prone boss and a whining husband, pouting friends and messy relatives. Never mind our own needs. That’s often the ball we jugglers drop.

We are more than a disaster relief crew in the wake of our hurricane-like brood. Right? We are more than a circus act, precariously balancing work and home. Aren’t we? Certainly we’re more significant than that. I think.

Still, it does not always seem to be so. What do we do?

Perhaps we ask the wrong question. After all, we do not ask our young children (unless we are absolutely rabid overachievers) what do you do? What did you accomplish today, little person who is still in diapers and can use a spoon himself, but only to decorate the walls? Even as our children grow and are actually able to accomplish many wonderful things, that is not the sole source of their significance to us. Our children’s value lies not in what they do (since most of their doing is messy, destructive, blessedly imperfect) but rather, in who they are. And in whose they are.

Who else would you hold and comfort even when he has thrown up on you after waking you from what precious little sleep you’ve had this week? Who else would cause your heart to leap to your throat when he disappears for thirty seconds in the grocery store? Who else would you pray for even when she has defied you, rolled her eyes at you, requested that you walk several paces behind her at the mall to avoid embarrassment?

Is it because of what they do that we love our children? Sometimes, well, yes. As toddlers, they smile and hug, precociously mimic animal sounds when prompted. They learn red from blue, square from circle. We believe with gusto in their potential.

As they get older, sometimes they surprise us with good report cards or unexpected kindness. We love that. We revel in their home runs and soccer goals, their election to student council.

Do we love them less when they don’t accomplish much? Sometimes, well, yes. Toddlers who simply don’t want to achieve mastery of bodily functions, who run and hide to poop their pants—it’s hard to love at that moment. Teenagers who disdain our wardrobe advice and unknowingly keep us up at night just by going out with their friends—sometimes they are hard to love as well.

But we do. That’s why we work so hard, balancing jobs, church, volunteering, family. It’s why we get up in the middle of the night. It’s why we endure the tantrums and mess, and savor their hugs, celebrate their accomplishments.

What if we were kind enough to ourselves to toss out our “what do you do” question and replace it with the one the phrase we use for our children: “you are mine”?

You adore your children. Their significance lies not in accomplishments, but in relationship. 

So who are you? Or whose? You are beloved. Whether you believe it or not, you are deeply loved.

The Bible says, “How great is the love that the father has lavished upon us, that we should be called children of God. And that is what we are!” (I John 3:1)

Really. Regardless of what you do, or fail to do, you are significant. You have a heavenly parent who does not measure your worth by your doing. Who adores you even when you don’t act very lovable. Who longs to lavish his love on you, and who longs to be loved by you in return. He speaks to you with the voice of love, saying “You are significant, because you are mine. You matter, not because of your accomplishments or resume, but because I love you. And that’s enough.”

Until next time!

Keri Wyatt Kent

Copyright 2006 Keri Wyatt Kent. Do not reprint without permission. This column is original and not excerpted from any of her books.


 Resting Place: A Personal Guide to Spiritual Retreats

Resting Place
by Jane Rubietta
$13.00
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 Do you ever wish you could get away? During some seasons of my life, I have made it a regular practice to get away for a day or so, maybe once a quarter, for some solitude. It’s a time alone to focus on my relationship with the Lord.

Unfortunately, it’s easy to let this practice slip—when you’re busy or overwhelmed by the needs of others. But it’s then that we need time alone with God, to refresh our souls, the most.

When we spend time with God, doing nothing, we can gain fresh appreciation for our significance. We’re reminded in retreat that we matter because we are his, not because of what we do.

Author Jane Rubietta’s new book Resting Place: A Personal Guide to Spiritual Retreats invites us to make time to get away and rest with Jesus. Seeing this book made me hungry to get away again, not just to be alone, but to try some of the spiritual practices that each chapter offers.

Jane tackles tough topics with beautiful prose: everything from abandonment to anger, finances to food, control to creativity. Each short chapter offers well-written insights, and then, a guide for a day of retreat on that particular topic.

The “retreat” part of each chapter offers specific practices that you can use during a day of solitude, such as journaling, prayer, meditation, praise and reflection.

The book is full of Jane’s wonderful and insightful stories and illustrations, and quotes from other wise writers and spiritual leaders. It’s a great tool for spiritual growth, and I highly recommend it.

Jane is a full-time writer and speaker. She’s a popular retreat leader. Reading this book is like having Jane lead your own one-person retreat.

This book would make a great Mother’s Day present. Just be sure that when you also offer the mom you give it to some help with childcare, so she can actually take a day of retreat!

Jane and her husband Rich founded and run Abounding Ministries,  www.abounding.org, a ministry designed to offer people a life-changing experience of God’s love through music, writing, speaking and retreats. 

You can order this book for $13.00 with FREE shipping by using our special order form.


“God is writing the story of your life, but you are also shaping it, just by living it. You may not have noticed God, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t been there. That’s why I think it is so important to pay attention, not just to what has happened, but what is happening, what choices you are making. By listening to your life, you can find God in the story. And sometimes we need to deliberately choose joy—choose to do and think and say things that will increase our joy—to take the gift God is offering us.”

From Listen: Finding God in the Story of Your Life by Keri Wyatt Kent. (Jossey-Bass, a Wiley imprint, San Francisco. 2006) Reprinted with permission.

 


Here’s a question to ponder, to pray over, to journal about, to help you connect more deeply with God:

Where do you find your significance? Do you believe that God loves you even when you don’t accomplish anything? Do you believe he calls you beloved even when you make mistakes, or ignore his counsel? What steps could you take toward really believing that your value lies not in accomplishments, but in relationship with Jesus? What’s keeping you from spending some time alone with him, to revel in that relationship?

 

 Connecting with Keri in Person!

Local author night: Keri is one of several authors who will be signing books at the Barnes & Noble bookstore on Golf Road in Schaumburg, IL at 7 p.m. Thursday, May 25. Keri will be signing copies of her new book, Listen: Finding God in the Story of Your Life. For details phone the store at 847-310-0892. If you are in the Chicago area, come out and bring a friend!

For those interested in writing, I recommend the upcoming Write to Publish conference, June 7-10 on the campus of my alma mater, Wheaton College, Wheaton, IL. I’ll be there, not teaching but learning! I can’t wait. Learn more at www.writetopublish.com. It’s a great opportunity to sharpen your writing skills, and also connect with editors, publishers and agents.

I’m taking the summer off to write, work in the garden and spend time with my family. So after May, I won’t be speaking or leading retreats until September, when my schedule gets pretty full.

 Connecting with Keri on the Web

If you want to learn more about my ministry or get in touch, just go to my website at www.keriwyattkent.com.


 

May 9, 2006

Connecting with
Keri Wyatt Kent

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"LISTEN": Keri's new book!

Keri Wyatt Kent's newest book is titled Listen: Finding God in the Story of Your Life.

"Breathe"

In Breathe: Creating Space for God in a Hectic Life, Keri looks at how the hurried pace of our lives affects us spiritually.

Connect with Keri in Person

click here to see my speaking schedule

 
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© 2006 - All Rights Reserved - Keri Wyatt Kent